She is my Love, but don’t take her as for Granted.
It started from our childhood. We loved each other from then when we even didn’t heard about the word LOVE.
Since we were from two different places which are very distant from each other. So We used to get together during any vacation like summer vacation, puja vacation and in the EIDs because at that time our two families used to visit our grand perent’s house. So mine and her grand parents were neighbors.
When we used to meet during that time (for few days), we used to play various games, we used to visit places together etc etc. Since we were young (i.e before 6th standard) nobody stopped us, there was no barrier between us.
Interesting thing was one of her Aunt used to tease us both that we were in love and blah blah. But we didn’t understand at that time.
We loved that Aunt so much because she used to tell us stories and at that time we both listened to her stories. Our Aunt and her stories made us spent time together in the evening and during the daytime we used to play games together.
She(my love) used to tell her stories and things like she used to play Bia-Bia i.e a play of Marriage with her friends at her place (where her parents stay). She described every details about how she dresses and grooms up for the marriage and becomes wife of someone of her friends. And nature taught me how to be Jealous at that very young age. I used to become very jealous and only our Aunt used to understand it at that time.
AND THE 1ST TRAGEDY HAPPENED
After the 6 th standard’s summer vacation we never met again until our matriculation. My family stopped visiting Grand pa’s place during Eids. We started visiting Grand pa’s place only in Summer Vacations. And may be it was Allah’s(GOD’S) wish to keep us away for a long period because whenever in the summer I visited there she was not there.
4-5 YEARS PASSED
In between these years I realized what love is, how I missed her and so so. But that age was teaching me the differences between man and woman. I realized and learnt so many things. And in 8th standard I had a crush on my friend and I approached her but because of differentiation in our religion it stopped there.
I met her again
After 5 years we met again at our Grand pa’s house. After Matric exam we spent few days there. She was different, growned up, she was beautiful and more matured than me.But the peoples had started seeing us differently. Because we were not that child anymore. Now everyone was keeping an eye on us.
I didn’t miss that chance
We talked each other that means played message message so much and then a time came I approached her. She took almost a month and then accepted me. I was in top of the world.
BUT IT WAS A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
I moved to hostel and I even didn’t had a phone with me. I was missing her so badly and I used to weep silently because in that hostel it was very difficult to adjust. Faced Racism for the first time. It was difficult to cope with my alcoholic roommate.
I left that hostel and managed to get a phone. We again connected and used to message her a lot and call at least for 5-20 minutes a day. Life was good though there’s no chance to meet or see each other.
2nd Tragedy happened.
All of a sudden before 1 month to TEST EXAM of HS 2nd year she broke up with me saying it is time to study and she told there’s no future between us because our parents will never agree with our relationship. She told that, it will be better to forget her and loving her will be only a waste of time because she don’t want that relation by upsetting her parents. She changed her number and never even realized that how I was doing.
I was broken. I got mad at me, I asked myself, what was my fault? I was in depression.
Then I found a way, which is called negative motivation. I started believing it was not love from her side. She just passed time with me. I started believing Girls are betrayers. No one should believe a girl. I cursed her and promised that I’ll never love again.
I moved to Guwahati.
After HS FINAL examination I moved to Guwahati for coaching classes on CONCEPT EDUCATIONS DIGHALIPUKHURI. Those are the days that changed me completely. I met two or more friends who were broken like me. And one of my friends story was like his girlfriend cleared CEE entrance and got seat in MEDICAL COLLEGE. So according to her my friend who didn’t cleared CEE was a looser. She said her parents will never accept my friend as her husband.
That story made me more brutal Rock Hard against love. I decided Love is fake. Love is a sweet lie.
My love started calling me again. At first I used to avoid her. I blocked her number. Though she managed to call me from different numbers. She was mad this time. After 45 days at Guwahati I left and moved to my place.And that was the time she triggered another soft position into my heart. With her big effort and her emotional messages melt me again.
Then I moved to Most Romantic place Tezpur. Almighty made me join one of the best Engineering Institute GIMT TEZPUR, and this time the Hostel was quite different. Best hostel of my life. Parallely, she moved to a Hostel for graduation and she didn’t had a phone this time.
I met different peoples and found peoples who never fell in love and was doing great.
In Engineering I had very less time for me, actually I was a bit serious about it and in free time I used to roam with friends and used to watch movie.
OUT OF SIGHT IS OUT OF MIND
“OUT OF SIGHT IS OUT OF MIND” She used to say this dialogue to me and she used to doubt me with her imagination. And her doubts ruined our relationship.
Long DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Long DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP never succeed. Without contact, without meeting this Relationship was like a hole in a ship i.e, it was about to sink. I became very rude to her, as she was doubting me for no reason. I used to abuse her on messages. She used to doubt me more and daily we were fighting more and more. Break up became our daily routine. Then again patch up. It was the new normal between us.
Out of sight is out of mind, she proved right. She met a guy who used to talk to her sweetly, and she used to tell me about him that he(new guy) used to care for her more than me and blah blah. Then She was always trying to say about him to me.
One day she told me if she had a boyfriend like him and that day I told her to go with him. This time it was final.
Then she was with him happily for a long time. After so many days she found out her new boyfriend was cheating with her. She had no way than come back to me again.
But this time I said no more. It has to stop. Nobody can use me and I should not let others to use me in their needs.
I changed completely. I focused on my study and I cleared my Engineering.
Last winter she married to someone. She talked to me 1 week before her marriage. She apologized to me for her mistakes, I apologized to her for mine. Now she’s happily married to a banker. I wish She’s verry happy with that lucky man as because their marriage was love marriage.
I stopped loving. I don’t know if it will happen again. The emptiness in my heart is filled by doubts, rage, though I am very motivated and one day everything will be fine.
I wish her a great life. I will be happy if she’s happy. And now I don’t like to link my name to her, so I am not mentioning her name. Though Life is to experiencing and learning. I learnt a lot, experienced a lot and in future this experience will be valuable. I am happy for me, for her , for everything. I don’t regret.